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Suburban Island

Twin Deceipt
Saturday, Feb. 05, 2005, 12:04 a.m.

QUESTION: Doublemint gum, anyone?

WHAT I LEARNED: There's more to what is than what you see with your eyes.

This week I decided to wear my beautiful but slightly treasonous shoes to work. I even got a complement on them before I headed out to an appointment. Late in the afternoon I returned to the office. Down the hall came the very person who took such a shining to my delightful shoes earlier in the day and with her was another coworker (and friend of mine). These two ladies were so happy to see me. Wow - I thought - it’s great to have so many nice colleagues. I feel so popular. I’m glad I work here. Big stupid smile appears on my face but soon flickers a bit.

Hmmm. This is nice but something is up. This is too nice. She wants to see my shoes. My shoes are nice – I like my shoes even though I could fall on my ass in them at any random moment in time – but they aren’t even on my feet. I had switched them out earlier and they were safely stuffed into a canvas tote. Now they want me to pull the shoes out so my one coworker – who has not had the thrill of viewing my nice, relatively-new shoes - can be swept off her feet in a flurry of shoe appreciation.

Have you ever gotten this feeling that your environment is right and everyone around you seems to be right but something is wrong?

I had that feeling. However, everyone is smiling and gazing at the shoe I have obligingly provided for public viewing like it is Cinderella’s glass slipper. I am only glad that it has not been worn enough to have developed a non-Cinderella-y odor as is common in much more oft-worn footwear.

So this newly dazzled coworker is examining my shoe while discussing the merits of said shoe in her thick Boston accent. I am wondering as she is standing there: What has she done to her hair? Why is she at work in a sweatshirt and jeans when she is usually dressed for success? And why does she like my shoe so much? I didn’t even know she liked tweedy brown shoes with pointed toes and a little rust bows. I mean, alright – it’s a cute shoe but who would have thought it would cause such a stir?

Suddenly, I see someone walking towards me – she’s smiling, she’s waving, she’s saying hello and it’s the coworker who is holding my shoe in her hand. Except of course it is not her because she is still standing in front of me holding that damn shoe up for all to admire and discuss. Curses. Either my work pal has learned to time travel a la Hermoine in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban or I’ve been thoroughly played.

How could I forget - this coworker is a twin. Evidently they’d been running this scam all afternoon to the riotous amusement to all but the clueless mark of the moment. Now that I had been soundly embarrassed they could move on to other hapless souls. That was much more fun for me of course.

I took my shoe back, put it back in my bright red canvas bag, and shortly afterwards headed home. I knew two things more soundly than I had known them a few hours before. My shoes are nice but not Cinderella caliber. I must never pursue a career as a spy. This was as close as I was going to get in my life to Cinderella at the ball and having an ALIAS moment. And although it was amusing, I knew it was best to quit while I was ahead.

DETAILS: Coffee: something mocha with marshmallow + Listening to: Joanie Sommers + Observing: a Friday night household + Thinking: not 6 more weeks of winter + Weather: it's still cold outside.

Today’s Suburban Strategy: Wonderfalls and lots more winter.

Today’s Scenic Cam: Stop by the Annapolis dock.

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