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Suburban Island

Slip and Fall
Thursday, Nov. 11, 2004, 11:31 a.m.

QUESTION: Did you hurt anything beyond your dignity?

WHAT I LEARNED: Buy some sandpaper and use it.

The clothing faux pas seems to be my major claim to glory this week and last. This morning I threw myself together, rushed out the door, stopped at the coffee shop, and drove into work. Halfway through the morning, I looked down and wondered why my pants looked so funny. Perhaps it was because they were inside out. Have you ever noticed that when you are trying to make a beeline for the bathroom people will pop up from behind workstations screens and suddenly emerge from doorways and clamp their eyes on you with intent to speak? I have and so I walked fast with my head down until I made it to the ladies room and remedied my exposed seam situation.

Thatís one to-do on my list that I didnít even know needed doing. I hope the rest of the day goes more smoothly.

On another tragic fashion note, last week I wore my fabulous new shoes. Yes, they were beautiful new kitten heel shoes that looked chic and ultra-professional. I was proud of myself for finally adding some new footwear to my work wardrobe, which had gotten down to 3 pairs of shoes Ė black, black, and black. I went to a client open house in the new shoes and I was really feeling put together. The bag, the shoes, the suit, the scarf all made me feel that finally I was the picture of the professional woman.

Luckily no one had a camera when, on the way out of the building, my new shoes betrayed me badly. The slippery marble floors and my new shoes created a classic banana peel scene minus the banana. Suddenly I was on the floor and my professional look took a major dive. I hurt my knees and yanked everything from shoulder to neck but I hurt my dignity most of all. Those brand new shoes took on a whole new aspect and as yet I have not worn them again.

Am I the only one that suffers these slings and arrows of outrageous fashion?

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