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Suburban Island

The Purloined Poster
Tuesday, Aug. 19, 2003, 11:33 p.m.

QUESTION: Seen any pirates lately?

WHAT I LEARNED: Anything can happen when you go to the movies.

Pirates be pirates.

And teenagers... Well, there be a bit of the pirate in any proper teenager now and again -or at least some appreciation for a pirate - if that pirate is Johnny Depp, or perhaps Orlando Bloom, or perhaps both. Especially when one is at the beach and the rain has set in.

For example, who could resist a damp movie poster sagging invitingly in a poster case that was really not much of a case at all? You would be right if you answered - not two teenage girls.

With its side pulled away from the edge so that the rain seeped in, the battered and leaky display case provided no protection for the bedraggled but still magnificent Pirates of the Caribbean poster. Johnnie Depp and Orlando Bloom were soaked through. Another good rain would definitely have done those fine fellows in. Someone had to do something. Even a pirate needs rescuing.

I guess that was what my daughter and her friend thought anyhow as they drew it carefully from the gap in the frame and made their way through the parking lot with the ragged poster held between them like the great find of the 21st century. Ahoy ragged and weary poster, ye be safe and sound now.

Some kids bring home stray cats. Some kids adopt homeless puppies. My kid rescued an ill-treated poster of two impossibly gorgeous Pirates of the Caribbean. Compassion and good taste - a winning combination. Best of all, it won't damage the furniture or require any shots.

I, on the other hand, gathered a lovely shell on the beach, which unfortunately had an expired occupant within. My bag soon began to reek of Eau de Stinky Sea. I should have joined the girls in the pirate caper.

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