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Suburban Island

More Lint
Saturday, Jan. 25, 2003, 10:09 p.m.

Question: Where are the dark socks?

What I Learned: Some bad habits are just annoying.

The white sock battle is not over. No, not even remotely. Yesterday I heard the dryer going. Normally, I would have been lulled by the gentle whirling sound of the dryer as it did its thing. Now, it was like an alarm going of in my brain. My instincts told me to check it out and make it snappy. Not wanted to waste a perfectly good instinct, I did just that.

I yanked open the dryer door and what did I see? Inside are a bunch of the kidís good dark-colored school clothes AND a bunch of fleecy white socks. I must be hallucinating. Not again. Not the white socks. And itís escalating now because whipping around with the black and navy clothing are a couple of fluffy beige bath towels too. This could mean war.

I wonder how can someone, in all good conscience, put the white socks in the dark wash - especially having heard my in-depth clothes-sorting lecture? How could it happen? Do I need to hire a special translator or a laundry-minded professional speaker to more effectively communicate my no-white socks-in-dark-loads rule? Is there a color-blindness issue? Can someone really be that color blind? Is it simply an issue of poor eyesight in general? Can a person really miss 6 large white gym socks when they can see the crumbs left behind on the kitchen counter? When someone says that there are no white socks in the wash, does that mean that when they go to look the socks will not be there, even though they tossed them in at the start? Does a dedication to diversity require all clothes that arrive in the laundry room at the same time must be washed together no matter what the consequences? Is it just a habit that canít be easily broken like cigarette smoking Ė Iíll just drop the white socks in there this one last time but thatís it? Is it a strategy to ultimately cut down on the water bill as everyone in the family will fear the lint-covered final result and prefer to hang on to their stuff as long as possible before tossing it in the hamper? Or is it just a desire to subtly drive everyone in the family nuts?

Me, I think itís simply an extremely clever ploy to get out of doing the laundry.

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