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Suburban Island

Wedding Bell Blues
Wednesday, Apr. 27, 2005, 8:38 p.m.

QUESTION: Dreams for sale?

WHAT I LEARNED: Advertising is a tricky business

A friend was surprised to discover a few of his wedding pictures slightly edited for effect on a local online classified ad service. It seems his estranged spouse the one who has arranged for him to spend a few unexpected days in the local adult detention center recently was selling her wedding gown. Is the thrill gone or is there such a profit to be made in the used wedding gown market that selling the dress just couldnt be resisted? I dont know. I enjoyed the ad though.

She does seem to be having some trouble selling it. Maybe shes asking too much for the gown. Or maybe she just needs to change her advertising approach. I especially wonder about the photos she has chosen to illustrate the glory of this wedding finery.

Frankly, I would be worried about buying the dress shes advertising for a couple simple reasons. First, it seems like you might risk losing your head when you put on the dress. Witness this shot with bridal bouquet:

Such pretty flowers too.

This second shot drives home the headless issue:

Its good to have a mile long train but its better to have a good head on your shoulders.

Alas, if you are fortunate enough to keep your head, you might lose your face instead. Witness what happens when the happy couple stops for a posed wedding shot in the church. Their faces become featureless creamy blobs.

I think its scary. But I dont need a wedding dress. If I needed one real bad, I might be willing to consider the headless/faceless problem as just a slight impediment in the wedding day adventure. It would be something to tell the grandkids, after all. It might yield some interesting wedding photographs too photos usually a trifle too dull for any but the wedding party to truly enjoy viewing.

My friend thinks his estranged wife should hold onto the dress so that if/when they get back together again they can reaffirm their vows at some point and she can wear it cathedral train and all. Im dubious about the yards of train on a thrice married woman renewing her vows and a few other things related to this blissful wish for romance renewed - but I do like a man with a positive outlook.

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