Remote Crisis
Saturday, Jul. 31, 2004, 1:42 p.m.

QUESTION: Where's the remote control?

WHAT I LEARNED: Look under the sofa cushions.

So far today I have done none of the things I set out to do and many of the things that other people want to do. The good news is that I did get a venti skim iced white chocolate mocha latte out of it. I have learned to be grateful for the small gifts life provides in the chaos of daily living.

The big newsflash in our house is the finding of the remote control. Evidently, not being able to find the remote control for the TV is akin to a disaster of nuclear proportions from my husband's perspective. He was in a state of severe remote-deprivation last night before bed. It was making him grumble and making me glad that I had to drive around for 45 minutes looking for the new movie theater complex that a bunch of kids including my son had gone via the chauffeuring services of another harried parent several hours earlier.

Driving around lost in the dark of night while trying to read incorrect directions and taking direction correction calls from multiple sources was a much better alternative than the eternal hunt for the lost remote control. There was a big full moon overhead and I had a nice new CD to enjoy as I drove around looking for my kid and fulfilling my parental duty to be available as a shuttle service in the evening hours for the non-driving member of the household.

This escape from the quest for the remote control was especially pleasing to me because the frantic hunt comes with an annoying soundtrack provided by desperate-for-channel-changing-capabilities husband that I must listen to until the remote is discovered. The soundtrack is a cool mix of sighs, punctuated with statements like - why does everything get lost in this house. All of this is interspersed with interesting observations about all the failings of our household as a whole. Evidently, these shortcoming are made doubly annoying by my husband's lack of ability to switch channels on cable while saying repeatedly - nothing is on tonight.

A man's needs his remote. A woman needs him to find it.

This morning he did find it. Where was the remote? Good question.

It was right under a cushion on the sofa where he had been sitting last night watching cable TV.

Another household mystery successfully solved.

DETAILS: Coffee: venti white chocolate mocha on ice + Listening to: channel surfing noises + Observing: list of undone chores + Thinking: Why isn't there any diet coke left in the house? + Weather: perfect summer day.

Today�s Suburban Strategy: Got photo options?