New Cell Phone Mania
Tuesday, Jan. 06, 2004, 9:53 p.m.

QUESTION: Are you sure you heard ALL the dialtones?

WHAT I LEARNED: I really love my phone.

A woman with a new cell phone can be pretty damn annoying. If you add a camera to that equation she could be really annoying squared. If you work with this woman, live with this woman, or maintain a friendship with this woman, then you had better work up some extra patience and practice saying - wow, that�s really something and gosh, what will they think of next? - for you are doomed. Doomed to view endless bad cell phone photo efforts or worse - become the subject of them. Doomed to listen to endless ringtone demos or worse � be requested to pick a favorite. Doomed to maintain a sappy of-course-I'm interested smile on your face while being subjected to a running commentary on the outstanding features of said phone repeated in 5-minute loops or worse � be expected to repeat such extraordinary features to others on demand.

I myself must give a round of applause for one of my co-workers who, in the midst of traveling to a business meeting together today: paused at lights for architectural shots attempted through side windows, slowed down on curves so I could snap the landscape between highway signage, and stood awkwardly in front of strange statues of birds in hand on a bitterly windy winter day while I framed the perfect shot - all without a word of protest.

Well, he�ll definitely have something to talk about tonight when he gets home. Now, I have to help a kid write a report on China so he can glue it on the four sides of a Chinese restaurant carry out box and turn it in for extra credit but before I do why don�t you look into my cell phone and just say - cheese.