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Party Time
Wednesday, Jan. 01, 2003, 10:16 p.m.

Question: If Everyone Is Headed Out to Wild New Year’s Parties, Why Is the Line at the Video Store So Long?

What I Learned: One Action Film on New Year’s Eve Should Be Good for Two Chick Flicks in Mid-January. Negotiate.

In my list of favorite holidays, New Year’s Eve rests near the very bottom. I'm not saying I don't enjoy the champagne and the thrill of feeling that I've got a clean slate somehow come January 1. It’s just that the New Year’s Eve hype makes each of us believe that we are out of step with the rest of the glamorous and fun-loving folks out there. We should be one of the happy mob crowded into Time Square to see the great gleaming ball drop into the New Year. We should be rocking in the New Year with Dick Clark. We should be dancing in a room full of tiaras and tuxes, swilling down martinis, and retiring to a lovely hotel suite after we close down the party.

Shouldn’t we?

Well, perhaps not. After attending many a New Year’s party full of people trying too hard to have fun, be of good cheer, and hold their breath for 4 hours so their stomachs look flat, I wonder if there is not some real glamour in lying about in whatever one feeling like throwing on – perhaps even a tiara if the mood strikes- and loitering shamelessly in front of the TV drinking Andre, or Bud Lite, or Champale, or other mundane drink of the masses, and never having to hold your stomach in even once.

And after the midnight toast, the toss of a few streamers, a couple toots on the paper horn, wouldn’t it be great to just turn off the lights and crawl under the covers without a single apology or watch something you want to see instead of being subjected to the questionable selections of a loud and tipsy group of people who will inevitable be ten to twenty years younger than you are and whom you are never going to see again.

Of course I was subjected to the requisite action film last night but at least I got the sofa.

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