You Have Junk Mail
Saturday, Jul. 24, 2004, 3:14 p.m.

QUESTION: Who are these people?

WHAT I LEARNED: Junk is junk.

I am back from Chicago and I�m using this weekend to try to grab hold of all the lose strands of my life and pull them together for an instant. Maybe I will succeed in tying up a few things long pending and discover a few things that I�ve back burner-ed that need some immediate attention instead of continuing procrastination. Perhaps I will be adventurous enough to create a few new threads to keep things interesting while I�m at it. I might paint a room, go have a yard sale, or start a craft project. Who knows, I could get all the laundry done, actual go through the mega-piles of paper stacked in that crate in the family room, or feed the sickly rose bushes. I have vowed that there will be time this weekend for my diary.

Upon my return from Chicago, I opened up my Outlook to discover these important email messages waiting expectantly for me:

Insupportable from Judith

Xanax and Valium pills here, polar bear fetishists near 947 from Micah

Approved: We owe you $248353 from Kirsten

JUST FILL THIS OUT. AND GET MONEY! THAT EZ from Catherine

In_cre�ase sperm quantity from Callie

Your mailbox is over size limit from System Administrator

Argumentative from Thelma

New in the market! You can say goodbye to your pajn! restroom from Marcia

Please let me know from Susie

8 products from Toni

Get Cialis over night no prescription needed from Juanita

Your mailbox is over size limit from System Administrator

Bu:y your vicidon at special prices dwyhxhbgjhdiwd from Daniel

Lookout! Pornography traces detected from Lazaro

Buy Valium and X.anax now from Erik

Ferber from Rodrigo

Your mailbox is over size limit from System Administrator

Hi from someone with hot in their email address

Valium here from Rubin

Genetry.Investo.rs Profit 300% salmon from Mitsuko

Your mailbox is over size limit from System Administrator

NOW WE CAN SHIP TO UR COUNTRY ORIGINAL SOFTWARES FROM $15 EACH CD article excitement such from Oscar

Yep. Here�s what you needed. from Hector

Pcdp I think this was the most important email I ever received from Alonso

Your mailbox is over size limit from System Administrator

B,uy Hy;droc:odone Online for Less from Lamont

Micro-cap ideal for you from Estelle

Insurance policies from Marsha

Found a better solution from Weston

Your mailbox is over size limit from System Administrator

Metabole edifice from Delia

Economic well, rates at 3.24% kzn from someone with RATE in their email address

This could help you out a lot from Celina

Age doesn t matter from Bruno

GET PAYPERVIEW MOVIES 67900c FOR NOTHING from Jolene

Having sleeping troubles? Fix it with Phentermine prim from Shanna

Are you kidding? Valium for $90 YES, it�s true! fFrom Vicente

Re:laban,NTVI this st0ck is going up!!! from Elbert

Your mailbox is over size limit from System Administrator

Bu:y Vali.um inexpen;sive medicine online from Robyn

Adware Killer Software vindictive from Johnnie

Your mailbox is over size limit from System Administrator

I don�t know any of these people. I don�t want any of these things. And worst of all they seem to be ruining my relationship with the System Administrator, a strict being with no empathy for those whose mailboxes fill up with the misspelled effluvia of every Bruno, Jolene, Estelle, and Mitsuko in the universe. Who are these people? Why can�t they spell? Why do they think I want bad stock tips, have a penis, need sleep aids, and am willing to assist that poor person who writes that nice letter about how they are trying to get millions of bucks out of their country if I could just help them out.

Nothing I can say will move the System Administrator. The message back will always be:

Your mailbox is over size limit from System Adminstrator.

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