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Shopping List for Fatherís Day
Sunday, Jun. 20, 2004, 3:26 p.m.

QUESTION: What should we get Dad?

WHAT I LEARNED: Don't bother to ask what he wants.

Hereís 3 iterations of what my husband wanted for Fatherís Day:

  • I donít know,
  • Nothing,
  • A new mustache trimmer.

Hereís what heís getting:

  • 1 humorous card signed by his 2 kids;
  • 3 African cichlid fish swimming in one plastic bag bought to replenish manly 65-gallon aquarium in living room thatís getting a little sparse;
  • a midnight blue vase with 3 of those twisty bamboo stalks in it Ė the cashier says thatís good luck all year;
  • 2 hug bunches of balloons to festoon home with Fatherís Day cheer;
  • a mixed pack of pyrotechnic delights from the local fireworks stand;
  • a pocket knife with a rainbow finish for discerning pocket knife owners chosen by pocket-knife-savvy son;
  • some casual clothing chosen by fashion-maven daughter at high-end menís store to include two pair boxer shorts, one pair workout shorts, and one pair khaki shorts desperately needed for not-a-drop-of-fashion-sense dad;
  • a lot of black licorice;
  • license to buy cartons of protein bars at local health food store;
  • dinner at the ultimate daddy dinner hot spot Ė Outback Steakhouse.

Of course, the one item he actually did mention wanting is not on this list. Maybe for his birthday - it's right around the corner. It will be useful for us to have something to work with during the next round of - nothing, I don't know, I don't need a thing.

But for now, we'll just say...

Hey Daddy-O Ė Happy Fatherís Day!

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