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Suburban Island

Sobriety and Lowfat Cinnamon Rolls
Monday, Oct. 27, 2003, 7:45 p.m.

QUESTION: What are all those flashing lights anyway?

WHAT I LEARNED: You never know what others may find entertaining.

The one bad thing about working from home is that your home life intrudes upon your work life in a way that it never would if you were going in to the office everyday and conversely, your office life intrudes on your home life in a way that would seem ridiculous within a traditional office setting. I like the days that I work from home because I can wear clothes that don't match perfectly, pull my hair back in a big clip, and never wear shoes that require stockings. I wish however that I didn't have to hear my name yodeled down two flights of stairs by members of my household who shall go unnamed, or feel vaguely guilty that the house isn't perfectly straight what with my being “home” and all, or have to close the door to my office a dozen times in an afternoon because people coming into my workspace feel no need to let themselves out properly.

And speaking of coming and going properly, my daughter was excited about a coming and going of her own this weekend. She was stopped along with everyone driving down the road at a sobriety roadblock. She wasn't drinking and neither was her friend but it was their first roadblock experience and as such had a sort of novelty to it that I am sure most of us would consider quite admirable. After ascertaining that no drinking and driving was occurring with these girls, the stalwart officer proceeded to provide my daughter, the driver, with a useful xeroxed sheet of reasons for not drinking while driving. My daughter’s friend, never a shrinking violet, immediately demanded a sheet of her own. You never know what someone will consider memorabilia, I suppose. Sobriety roadblocks - one of those things that make you breathe a resounding sigh of relief for your good sense in choosing some non-alcoholic fun for the evening. There's nothing like a sobriety roadblock to underline the immediate benefit of clean living. And then, there’s the whole handout aspect too.

And for those of us out there who are bugging the hell out of someone - like yesterday evening when my darling son took over 4 hours to complete what I might generously identify as a 45 minute to an hour endeavor – think about baking your apology. Especially if the infraction has occurred on a Sunday evening. Sunday nights are bad nights for anything but showers and TV shows and laying out school clothes. In case of a last minute assignment – forgotten or delayed – here’s my advice: don't talk back, get your own glue and scissors, and bake cookies (or low-fat cinnamon rolls) if you have indeed proven to be - at least for the moment - the most annoying individual in the universe. It's the least you can do for the person on the other end of your academic lifeline. They will have to forgive you your loutish behavior - especially is the person in question is good old mom - and will likely give you last minute guidance on the object of your procrastination whether it be typewritten or glued onto white poster board, in spite of it all.

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