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Performance Reviews
Wednesday, Mar. 05, 2003, 1:57 p.m.

Question: Is a self-evaluation form at work like an open book exam, a moral test, or a cruel workplace joke?

What I Learned: No wonder I don't get enough sleep - I really am working too hard.

I just finished my self-evaluation for work. That's a hard one isn't it? Do you just run down the line noting- excellent, excellent, excellent in all categories? Are you a bit self-depreciating? Do you put - superior/above average with maybe just one excellent thrown in to show you are modest but still a delight as an employee? What would happen if you put down - does not meet job standards for all categories? Would you get to watch Oprah and Dr. Phil more? What if you just procrastinated until your manager did it for you? Now thatís efficiency.

It really is a task to go back over the course of the year and memorialize, document, and aggrandize yourself on all points. I was up until 2:30 last night trying to make myself sound super wonderful so that I would have a job tomorrow. I do like my job after all, and realistically, it is something I do need from a roof over my head, bread on the table, and clothes on my back perspective.

The self-evaluation proposition is kind of tricky one after all. If you take it lightly and don't put down every glorious thing that you did, then those things may get forgotten and you might look like a sorry slacker. If you take it as an opportunity to really critique yourself, I have a nice bridge to sell you and your manager will probably start thinking Ė hey, I never noticed that before but come to think about itÖ Donít do it. If you really do it up, you may sound a bit of a braggart but at least you will have given the whole process your best shot.

On the bright side, maybe your manager's eyes will be so irritated by reading this detailed documentation of your workplace successes in that 8 point font within the electronic form that scrolls in a big circle until you have no idea where you are in the document, that they will just throw up their hands, recognize your solid assessment of yourself as a jewel and the validity of the fact that the company would be in the soup without your presence on their payroll, note their agreement and delight with you as their underling, and sign off on the evaluation form you have dutifully submitted. Thus, freeing you both of this onerous task until the annual rite begins anew.

Iím hoping for the latter outcome but only time will tell.

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